There are many different types of OCD. Even though most people are to some degree are weary of the cheating in the relationship, this OCD fear goes above and beyond that. There are two subtypes of this OCD. In the first subtype the person thinks that they may have cheated in the past or that they are about to cheat. This thought causes extreme anxiety. In the second subtype the person is worried that their partner has cheated on them or is about to cheat.
The compulsive action in this case would be to monitor the partner very closely and to try to find clues to the suspected cheating. You may try to see if your partner has cheated by analyzing what he or she said or how they acted in a particular situation. Both of these subtypes are very common. I described them in detail so you know that if you have the Cheating OCDyou are not alone and you are not going through this alone.
Cheating OCD: What It Is And Signs You Have It
It does take some work and it is not easy but it is curable. Follow the five steps below to overcome this OCD once and for all. Label it as an OCD thought. Say this to yourself as soon as you get the thought:. Do not react to any of the Cheating OCD thoughts with fear. Your fearful reaction is what powers up these thoughts and makes OCD stronger. Instead, react with indifference and allow the thoughts to just be there.
Recognize which of your actions are compulsive and are done because of your Cheating OCD. Make a list of them and do your best to not do them. The less actions you perform the weaker your OCD will become. At this point it might be automatic to perform certain compulsive actions, so it will take some time to stop doing them. Take it one day at a time but do your absolute best to stop performing them.
This is your recovery and you need to focus and put effort into it. Do not seek ANY reassurance from your partner or from anyone else. This one is very hard but if you keep seeking reassurance you will not get better.
Explain to them that this is not about them but about your disorder. You need to be patient with them. Tell your partner that if they see you asking for reassurance or performing a compulsive action that they need to tell you to stop and to remind you that in order to progress you need to not do these compulsive actions. The most common compulsive actions are seeking reassurance and confessing something you think may have happened.
I would just like to say a massive thank you to Ali Greymond for all of her help and support through what had to be one of the hardest and most fearful times in my life. Hell sounded appealing to what I was living with- false memory OCD! She gave me the tools and skyped me every day I felt like She was in the next room the support was amazing. Thank you Ali your programme is amazing.
I came to Ali with a severe case of contamination OCD. Ali graciously offered me an introductory session free of charge. I liked that she was that proactive and willing to jump in immediately. Ali almost immediately became my anchor, my support system and friend through this very frightening and lonely disorder.It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community.
To Sign Up for free, please click here All rights reserved. Do not copy or redistribute in any form! I am now a college student which only makes these thoughts worse seeing as im living at school.
I cant escape the thoughts. I think most colleges have one. They are there to help you. I have the bad obsessive thoughtstoo, but I am in therapy and on Prozac and Abilify which help a great deal with it. Have you tried seeing a therapist or psychiatrist.
The right therapy and meds make a world of difference. Intrusive thoughts about cheating? Sep 24, You say yourself that you love your husband. You would never want to cheat on him. Having a drank with a friend could hardly be considered cheating? Hi, I am having a really hard time right now. I suffer with intrusive thoughts mainly and some checking and washing issues.
Intrustive thoughts or Cheating Dec 12, This is where you try to expose yourself to the obsession - your anxiety gets very high - then comes down and you become desensitized to the obsession This is all OCD Aug 31, It was horrible!!! I would look at a guy and I would think, "Uh oh did I kiss him" Jul 18, Not sure if this helps but I stopped drinking for a while for the same reason. Wheither it was one beer or more I thought that I was going crazy. I cheated on my now husband when we were dating and I figured I would go insane if I didn't tell him so I told him what happened every time I drank.
I think I've always been abandoned in someway or another by men in my life. Whether I was being cheated on or they have died or were just abusive.As Brits weigh up their alcohol intake for Dry January, Vikki tells the story of her difficult relationship with drinking. I woke up confused and in someone else's bed, with no memory of the night before.
As I started to come round, snatches of the evening began filtering back to me. I remembered flirting with a guy. Then, I had a memory of getting a taxi back to his. Suddenly, it dawned on me - I'd cheated on my boyfriend. I was so frustrated with myself - I'd blacked out again. When I talk about "blacking out", people tend to assume I fell unconscious after too much booze.
What it actually means is that, for chunks of the previous night, I was alert and active, dancing away, but the next morning I couldn't remember anything. That morning, I was completely mortified - this just wasn't me. I'd never cheated on someone before. I decided I had to tell my boyfriend. I knew the shame would eat me up otherwise and I wouldn't have been able to hide it. We were long distance and I didn't want to tell him over the phone, so I got straight on a coach to see him.
It was a long ride from London to Liverpool, going over what I was going to say. I felt sick with anxiety and fear To make matters worse, I hadn't used contraception.
Why Am I Paranoid About My Partner Cheating? 5 Places Your Anxiety Might Be Coming From
Could I be pregnant? Might I have caught an STI? My thoughts were building up and I was a complete wreck by the time I arrived. I was at a gig when I noticed how hot the band's bass player was. After they performed, the band came off stage and my friend introduced me to them. We got talking and hit it off immediately. Alex was a really kind, sweet guy, so talented and caring.
Soon, he became my first love, and my world. I'd follow him to every single gig, no matter how tiny the venue. I thought we were going to be together forever. But that's not what happened. Like many teenagers in the UK, I was drinking well before the age of 18, at house parties with older friends or in pubs that were lenient about ID. But once I was of age, it became more frequent.
What is going on with me??? Subject: Cheating and OCD
Then, when I got a job and moved to London, work socials meant that my drinking escalated even further. After a few months of living there, I went to a party and I got really, really drunk. Alcohol affects us in different ways but, for me, the second that I started drinking, I became flirtatious and provocative. This party was no different. It all came tumbling out, followed by tears and angry words as he processed what I'd said.Report Abuse. Contact Us.
I take scenes from a year or two ago from when I had either been drinking or asked a neighbor for help to look at my car and wonder if I may have had sex with them. Usually these are all times when my husband has not been around so it just intensifies the fear and I don't have anyone to reassure me that nothing happened.
Then when I tell myself: you don't remember anything happening, so why do you think something happened? And thats when I'll start to think: Well what if they gave you a xanax bar and thats why you don't remember. I'm literally driving myself crazy.
All I can do is mope and cry thinking about all this. I've already "confessed" to my husband what I've been thinking and he thinks it's just my OCD but that just makes me feel worse because I think: what if something did happen, and here he is thinking I'm innocent.
I don't know what to do anymore, I need help from someone who may have dealt with this before or who has any experiences with this. Is this OCD? Or is the reason I'm thinking these things is because they are actually true????? Answer Question.
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Follow - 3. Are you diagnosed with OCD? Because this definitely sounds like an OCD symptom to me. First of all, when you feel the anxiety coming on, try to relax and breathe. You know that you didn't cheat on your husband but your brain is stuck in a loop.
It's the same thing that happens to people who can't leave the house without checking to make sure that they've turned off the coffee pot 12 times. The condition is thought to be due to abnormalities in three parts of the brain: the orbital frontal cortex, the thalamus, and the caudate nucleus.OCD and False / Real Memories
The caudate nucleus regulates signals between the thalamus and the OFC. The OFC sends 'worry signals" to the thalamus and normally the caudate nucleus acts like a brake between them.
How psychological distress from being cheated on can harm your physical health
In OCD, something is abnormal about the caudate nucleus and the thalamus becomes overexcited. It sends even stronger distress signals back to the OFC, which responds by increasing obsessive behaviors and a feeling of anxiety.
In other words, it's not you, it's your brain.I bring this up because I just became aware of something called Cheating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, from which a close friend is suffering. Standard OCD is characterized by what feel like uncontrollable thoughts, ideas, or sensations that make someone feel compelled to take certain actions.
Those thoughts, ideas, or sensations are, however, not grounded in reality, and typically unfounded by any real events. At first, it may sound like those who suffer from it feel compelled to cheat. That is, however, not the case. Cheating OCD is a condition characterized by the belief one has cheated—the one suffering from the OCD, herself, believes she has cheated—even though there is no evidence this has occurred.
It can often happen after a night of drinking or doing recreational substances, when memories become blurred. Maybe even you. It is common for individuals who suffer from Cheating OCD to have, at least once, actually cheated in their life.
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Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. Urban One Brands. Post to Cancel.Moderator: Snaga. Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot]Kermilang and 73 guests. Psychology and Mental Health Forum. Our partner. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. Forum rules. I don't know if this information can help but I had depression when I was 13 and went to therapy for 4 Years because my mother tried to commit suicide and my parents divorced because of years my dad cheating on my mother.
I thought I was fine until this started to affect my relationship. This sounds crazy but what is driving me insane is the night out that happened almost 3years ago and is the only night out where I drank alcohol without my bf and I was talking to others guys who flirted with me.
This 'guilt feeling' comes and goes in waves because I am afraid if I maybe repressed this memory of me cheating. I never had this image before until I read on forums that visualization helps and ever since I've visualize me kissing with another boy I can't get this image out of my head. I never have blackouts and I always remember everything after drinking, every detail.
My friend was with me all the time and she says that nothing happened, I even talked these two guys about my boyfriend and how I am loyal. The problem is that both of them sent me messages the other day and I keep thinking what ifs. When I'm not thinking about this I think about my boyfriend cheating. I never knew this could be ocd but now I keep thinking that I was so concerned about my bf cheating on me because I repressed this memory of me cheating on him, and it becomes vicious circle.
Please help me, I can't eat and study, and I can't enjoy this beautiful relationship I have with the first person ever who supports me and shows me what love really feels like. I'm glad you've found us. And hope the forum can help and support you. I've split your post into its own thread. Since it didn't relate to the original except in the theme of the OCD. Please let me know if you'd like me to change the title to something that fits better, if you like.
And feel free to reply to other people's posts here too. We're all peers here, no professionals. You don't need to have any answers, either. Just support is good! More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. We had two of these kinds of fears in the last year. We don't get them often, but it does happen - so you're not alone in this.
The mind can be tricky as you know. I'm not saying you have OCD, but I will speak in those terms to address how the mind works on these occasions. But OCD creates this viscous circle. First it creates the fear, then it sends you off to find the truth. But because it knows that all it needs to do is introduce "doubt" it knows you will never find the truth. Those two words are the evil of OCD. But, as so many people with OCD know, it is the anxiety that fuels all the problems above.
So that needs to be addressed. Have you thought about seeing a doctor? Otter Space Man.It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences.
I love my husband so much and we have been trying to have a baby, and i would never want to do anything like that. I dont drink all the time only on occasion and im thinking that has made this part of my ocd worse. I feel so guilty, im convinced that i did cheat.
Does anyone else have these kinda intrusive thougths? If so how do you deal with them? Im having alot of panic, and guilt over this. The same way i do my other intrusive thoughts, all i want to do is crawl into bed and cry, i feel so horrible.
I am not in a relationship, but if I were I could imagine having those kinds of intrusive thoughts That is, feeling overly guilty over things, wondering if I have committed some grave sin What you describe sounds similar? You say yourself that you love your husband. You would never want to cheat on him. Having a drank with a friend could hardly be considered cheating? Think of it this way: If your husband had seen you, would he have said you were cheating on him?
Most probably not!